How to Read a Bedtime Story to a Toddler: 8 Calm Tips

Here's how to read a bedtime story to a toddler: pick one short, calm book, turn off screens, sit close where they can see the pictures, and read slowly in a soft voice, letting them turn the pages and point. Expect wiggles, expect the same book again, and end the same way every night. That's the whole method. Public guidance from KidsHealth and Parent Club agrees that a regular story at bedtime helps toddlers learn to sit with a book and wind down.

Below are eight tips that make it easier, a quick guide to choosing the book, and what to try when things don't go to plan.

The short version

1. Screens off, lights low, one cosy spot.
2. Let your toddler choose, from a small pile of bedtime books.
3. Sit close so you can both see the pictures.
4. Read low and slow, but with feeling.
5. Talk about the pictures as much as the words.
6. Let them hold the book and turn the pages.
7. Stop when they're done, even mid-book.
8. Finish with the same words every night.

Before you open the book

1. Set up the spot

StartingBlocks, the Australian early learning site run by ACECQA, suggests turning off the TV, radio and phone so you can both concentrate, and sitting close to your child while you read. Healthify NZ recommends limiting screens in the hour before bed, so the story comes after the tablet has gone away, not instead of it.

Use the same spot every night if you can: the bed, a beanbag or the corner of the couch. A familiar place is half the signal that the day is ending.

2. Let them choose, from a short list

KidsHealth says to read whatever books your toddler asks for. At bedtime it helps to narrow the field first. Keep three or four calm books in a basket by the bed and let your toddler pick from those. They still get the choice, and you don't end up with the noisiest book in the house at 7pm.

While you read

3. Read low and slow, but keep the tune

Here's where the advice seems to clash. Australian author Mem Fox, in her Ten Read Aloud Commandments, tells parents to read with animation and not be "dull, or flat, or boring". Parent Club says reading in a soft voice helps toddlers feel calm and sleepy.

Both can be true at once. At bedtime, keep the expression and drop the volume:

• Keep the feeling. A sleepy owl can still sound sleepy, and a surprise can still sound surprised, just quieter.
• Keep the same tune. Mem Fox suggests reading each favourite with the same intonations on each page, each time. Toddlers notice when a line comes out differently, and the familiar rhythm is part of the comfort.
• Slow down near the end. Let the last few pages get quieter and slower, like the story is falling asleep too.

Save the roaring dinosaurs and silly voices that PJ Library suggests for a daytime read.

4. Talk about the pictures

For toddlers, the pictures often matter more than the words. StartingBlocks suggests a "picture walk", where you talk about the illustrations together and your child gets to "read" the story to you. PJ Library suggests describing the illustrations and counting things in the scene.

At bedtime, keep the questions small and sleepy:

• "Where's the moon?"
• "Who's already asleep on this page?"
• "How many stars can you see?"

5. Hand over the pages

Let your toddler hold the book and turn the pages, as StartingBlocks recommends. Yes, they'll skip some. That's fine. A toddler who is turning pages is a toddler who is still with the story.

6. Let the wiggles happen

KidsHealth says it's OK if your child can't sit still for an entire book. Some toddlers listen while lying upside down, kicking the wall or holding a teddy over their face. Keep reading quietly. If they wander off, finish the page, close the book and try again tomorrow.

7. Stop when they're done

You don't need to finish the book. StartingBlocks encourages being willing to read only parts of a book and pages out of order, and Parent Club points out that a bedtime story doesn't have to be long, or even have words for very young children. Ten minutes is plenty. Two minutes still counts.

After the last page

8. Close the same way every night

Pick one closing line and use it every time: "The end. Goodnight, book." Then the cuddle, then lights out. Healthify NZ lists a story and a cuddle before lights out as common steps in a bedtime routine, and doing them in the same order is what makes them a routine.

If the "one more book" negotiation is a nightly event in your house, our post on quiet activities before bed has a few ways to agree the limit before the story starts.

Choosing a good bedtime book

Mem Fox's advice is to look for rhyme, rhythm or repetition and to make sure the books are really short. Parent Club adds that calmer stories suit bedtime better than action-packed ones, and gives "pirates vs dinosaurs" as the example to skip.

That last row matters. New books are exciting, which is lovely in the morning and less lovely at lights out. Try a new book during the day first, and once it's familiar, it can join the bedtime basket.

If your toddler has started worrying about the dark, our list of gentle books for kids scared of the dark has some calm options.

When it doesn't go to plan

Where to find more bedtime stories

Your local library is the easiest place to keep the bedtime basket fresh, and many run free storytime sessions for little ones. State Library Victoria, for example, runs free Storytime sessions with stories, songs and rhymes. Hearing someone else read aloud is also a nice way to pick up new ways to read a favourite.

We also write bedtime stories with this kind of reading in mind. In our Bedtime Stories You Color Yourself series for ages 2 to 6, each story sits on the left-hand page in big, calm type for reading aloud, with the matching picture on the right. You read the story tonight, and the picture is there to colour tomorrow.

Try it tonight

Pick one short, calm book, lower your voice a notch, and use the same closing line when you shut it. If you'd like a quiet morning activity to go with last night's story, download our five free colouring pages and print one to colour together while you chat about last night's story.

Sources

1. KidsHealth (Nemours): Toddler reading time
2. Parent Club (Scottish Government): Top tips for story time with your baby or toddler
3. Goulburn Valley Libraries: Mem Fox's Ten Read Aloud Commandments
4. StartingBlocks.gov.au (ACECQA): Reading with toddlers
5. PJ Library: Read aloud tips for children of all ages
6. Healthify NZ: Bedtime routines for children
7. State Library Victoria: Storytime

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